Retreat to France with your newborn? Oui, bien sur!

You’ve spent 36 hours in labour, lost all your feminine mystique as your lady parts are manhandled by an army of midwives and the bits of you that aren’t swaddled in some sort of bodily-fluid-soaking padding are covered in dribble. Possibly yours.

Frankly, at this point swanning around in an 18th century French manor house for ten days sounds pretty damn good – and that’s what the Post Natal Retreat at La Jugie in Limousin offers – with meals prepared, baby paraphernalia provided, a luxe pool, massages and twice daily fitness classes designed to restore a bit of tone to your wobbly bits. And ooh-la-la, the best bit, you can bring your husband (whom, let’s face it, you’d probably completely forgotten existed by now!) and he can bond with the bubba whilst you get your butt blasted at the hands of Caroline Bragg – personal trainer and pilates expert from Frame, Shoreditch.

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