What’s it like to give birth at The Portland?


Famous for delivering the offspring of rockstars and Royals, suffice to say a birth at The Portland will set you back the best part of ten grand (13K for a C-section)

But what do you really get for your money? According to their spokesperson ‘We are one of the most highly equipped hospitals in Europe and have an international reputation for our standards in medical care…’ But does that justify the pricetag?

Here’s what we found out…

PANTS AND PANDAS: The Portland provides ‘everything you can think of’ said one Mum: knickers, nappies, towels, babygrows, Molton Brown toiletries. After the baby is born they are enrolled in the Portly Panda Club (with a panda toy) and the proud parents get a bottle of champers, plus an announcement in The Times and a fancy meal.

PRIVACY: Round the clock security keeps out paparazzi (or overbearing Mother In Laws). Says the Daily Mail ‘The hospital prides itself on security. The paparazzi might camp outside the doors – but they never make it inside. If you think a stay at the Portland means a chance to rub shoulders with A-list mums – you’ll be disappointed. The airtight environment and private en-suite rooms means it’s possible to stay a week without seeing another mum’

PICTURES: one nice perk is a complimentary photoshoot each year til your child is 18 from Imagethirst. 3D scans are also available at the hospital.

PINK: pink seems to be the order of the day when it comes to wall decor. ‘The only things about the Portland I didn’t like are trivial: the lifts (incredibly, pointlessly slow); the fact that my room was either too hot or too cold; and the revolting pink wallpaper in there. (For some reason I’d imagined it would look like a very modern boutique hotel inside, with Prada hospital gowns)’ (Mumsnet)

PAIN RELIEF: Lots of it, if that’s what you want… ‘I was smacked off my head on morphine, which was lovely! ‘ (Mumsnet)

“You get painkillers galore and you are definitely not forced to breast feed like you are in the public hospitals,” says one mother, “If you want a c-section, that’s no problem. They have a full night nursery for new babies, so if you are tired you give your baby to a nurse for the whole night and they bring it back to you all washed and scrubbed first thing in the morning. You are not forced to ‘bond’ with your child.” (Daily Beast)

PERSONAL SHOPPING: The Portland Hospital has links with Babylist who provide consultations from experienced advisers on what to buy for your baby. For Portland Hospital patients they offer a complimentary consultation.

Intrigued? Find out more by booking a tour: http://www.theportlandhospital.com/maternity/book-a-tour/